


Bad Dreams

by retrauxpunk



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 12:44:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18828916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retrauxpunk/pseuds/retrauxpunk
Summary: Jared is used to his bad dreams, used to waking up terrified and alone. Then he temporarily moves into Richard's bedroom.





	Bad Dreams

Richard isn’t sure what woke him at first and lies blinking and confused in his loft bed. Then, in the dark, he hears it — a soft, keening murmuring, coming from somewhere inside the room.

_ What the fuck _ , he thinks, heart immediately quickening and wakefulness washing over his bleary state. He half gets up, reaching for a light, and then he remembers that Jared is sleeping on his bedroom floor and suddenly he realises that the sound is coming from  _ him _ .

Jared’s talking in his sleep. Richard can’t make out the words, but he can tell when someone’s having a nightmare.

He swallows, absently starting to gnaw on his lip.  _ Well, this is awkward _ , goes the voice in his head that seems to accompany him 24/7, regardless of what’s happening at the moment.  _ Should I do something? _

He waits, but Jared’s mumblings don’t abate. If anything, they get worse, and now that his eyes have adjusted to the dark, Richard can see Jared’s shadowy form twitching in his makeshift bed. He moves like an injured animal being shocked, twisting here and there, his movements sudden and pained.

_ I should do something. Something other than just watch, like it’s  car crash or something. _

Richard shakes his head to himself, feeling guilty now, as well as awkward and uncomfortable. He sits up in bed properly and reaches for the light switch. With a brief flicker, the darkness is banished and the small room is flooded with light. Jared goes still, very abruptly, before he starts talking and twitching again, still not waking from whatever dream is tormenting him. 

Richard feels a twinge in his chest at the sight of it, and before he can talk himself out of it for whatever stupid reason, he’s climbing down the ladder and crossing the room.

He’s standing over Jared, about to crouch down beside him, when Jared thrashes in his sleep one last time before waking. He sits bolt upright, eyes wild and staring.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says, his voice raspy. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please — oh. Richard.’

It’s only when he says his name that Jared seems to  _ see _ Richard for the first time, his eyes coming into focus. He lets himself slouch a little, looks down, half-shakes his head. Richard’s about to speak when Jared looks up again. There’s a guilty, remorseful expression on his face.

‘I’m so sorry for waking you,’ he says, and this time his voice is as clear and measured as it usually is. Gentle.  _ Deferent _ , thinks Richard, for the first time.

He crouches beside Jared so their eyes are level. ‘Jared, are you — are you okay?’

Jared nods —  _ a little too quickly _ , thinks Richard — and smiles. ‘Oh, don’t worry about me. Nothing out of the ordinary. Look, I shouldn’t have woken you up, I’m sorry — I’ll move out to the couch.’ And to Richard’s dismay, he starts to get up.

‘Wait,’ says Richard, reaching out an arm instinctively — to pat him on the shoulder, to gently stop him from getting up, because  _ why should he _ ? He’s not done anything wrong, despite how he’s behaving as if he has.

Richard reaches out an arm, and Jared flinches. It’s an unmistakable, reflexive reaction.

Richard lowers his arm. Jared hangs his head low, buries his face in his hands, takes a deep breath.

Is he — is he  _ shaking _ ?

‘Hey,’ says Richard, trying to pitch his voice into something approaching a comforting tone. ‘I’m — I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to — to startle you. Are you okay? Jared?’

Jared looks up, and his eyes are moist. He shakes his head. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers. ‘I was just … having a bad dream. I didn’t mean to trouble you.’ He looks down again, as if he can’t bear to look Richard in the eye as he continues. ‘Really, I shouldn’t be here bothering you. You need your sleep.’

‘Um,’ says Richard.  _ Great _ , snaps the voice in his head.  _ Great start. Very eloquent. _ He does his best to ignore it, and continues. ‘Jared. It’s — it’s okay, man, seriously. You didn’t, um, trouble me. You were just — like you said, you were having a bad dream and I was, um, I was worried about you.’

Jared looks up, staring at him and frowning slightly as if he doesn’t quite understand the words. ‘Oh, Richard,’ he says, smiling sadly. ‘You don’t need to worry about me.’

Richard bites his lip. This whole situation feels as if it isn’t making sense. Jared’s always been an accommodating kind of person but the way he’s acting now, all the apologies, the self-effacement … it feels less like a choice and more like a defence mechanism. Richard remembers the way Jared flinched when he reached out to him, remembers every comment about his past that was as unsettling as it was offhand, and something inside him starts hurting.

‘You were — you — it just seemed like you were having a bad time. I was going to try to, try to wake you up.’

‘You were?’ says Jared, and the expression on his face is one of such naked vulnerability and shock that Richard has to look away.

‘Yeah, Jared,’ he says. ‘I was. So you’d no longer be, um, you know. Having the bad dream, or whatever it was.’ He tries to smile reassuringly, but knowing him, it probably comes out looking wrong.

Jared doesn’t speak for a long time. He looks down, then back at Richard. ‘That’s very kind of you,’ he says, and it comes out almost a whisper.

Richard doesn’t know what to say, and does an odd half-shrug, tries to smile again. This time, Jared smiles back, tentatively.

‘I’m going to move to the living room,’ he says. ‘So you can get back to sleep.’

‘Jared, you don’t need to do that,’ says Richard. He reaches out his hand, slowly, toward Jared’s arm. This time Jared doesn’t flinch, though he does look down at Richard’s hand and back up, the shadow of a smile on his lips, the sadness still in his eyes.

Richard’s hand touches his arm, gently. ‘Seriously,’ he says. ‘You can stay. It’s okay.’

Jared takes a slow breath, blinking, shaking his head. He puts one of his hands over Richard’s. Richard isn’t sure if he’s imagining the tremor.

‘Thank you,’ he whispers.

They stay like that for a bit, before Jared drops his hand and so does Richard. They sit in silence, not really looking at each other, and then on impulse Richard decides to scoot a little closer to him. He gets the feeling that Jared kind of needs company right now.

‘Richard,’ he says softly. ‘You can go back to sleep.’

‘I know,’ says Richard. And on another impulse, he lifts his arm and gently drapes it around Jared’s shoulders. ‘I just. I just want to make sure you’re okay.’

Jared turns to stare, and before Richard can work out exactly what his expression means, he finds himself being pulled into a hug. Jared’s arms wrap tightly around him, suddenly, almost desperately, and it’s a little too tight but Richard — Richard who normally hates it when anyone but a select handful of people touch him — finds himself not minding. Something about the way Jared is holding him — as if he’s clinging on for dear life, as if Richard is a buoy in a stormy sea — makes it easy not to mind.

He adjusts his arms so he can return the hug properly, tentatively stroking Jared’s back with one hand. 

‘Hey,’ he says softly. ‘It’s okay.’

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at midnight instead of going to sleep because of sudden inspiration and insomnia. First actual fanfiction I've written? Yes! Fun? Yes! More to come (for this fandom/pairing)? Hopefully!


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